Calming the inner chaos…..


therapy cropped

There’s a constant chatter that goes on inside my head. Some of it can be negative, judging myself, worrying about what others think, but not always.

Sometimes it’s ideas.

Ideas I get excited about, that I’m passionate about.

And I love the excitement, I love the buzz it gives me, how it fuels me.

But it also exhausts me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible to be over inspired.

The sheer volume of the thoughts overwhelms me.

They come speeding through my head one after the other and I can’t keep up. My head feels like a busy freeway. They say to write them down, but often the thoughts are speeding through my brain faster than I can even process them. And although I long to be in the moment, I’m always two steps ahead of myself, playing out my next move or having conversations in the future. Sometimes it can get too much and can lead to anxiety and sleeplessness.  The thoughts become dark…..When this happens I feel tearful and alone, trapped in my overactive mind.

I’ve tried all the obvious solutions like yoga and meditation but it just seems to make things worse. The more I give them attention, the thoughts become faster, more urgent, more persistent, more overpowering. Slowing things down seems to make the voices, the thoughts, even more active.

Speeding things up seems to be the only way I can slow down the chaos that goes on inside my head

So I box.

When I discovered boxing I found I had to concentrate so hard to get the technique right. I had no idea there would be so much involved. I really had to focus to get my balance, foot position, hip turn, core engagement all working together.

And I like to get things right.

Getting it right makes such a difference to the speed and power of how you throw the punch.
Getting it right is amazingly satisfying, hearing that snap on the pads,
Getting it right makes me feel strong and powerful and in control.

And then there’s the cardio. The sheer intensity of the training means I am struggling to catch the next breath.

For once I have no choice but to focus on my breath.

This is my meditation.

And for that time that I’m training, the voices are silenced. The train of thoughts is calmed. I cannot possibly think about anything else other than breathing or throwing the next punch. I have a brief moment of inner peace.

Afterwards there’s calm. And yes there’s the obvious feel good factor from the endorphins which technically I know is just a hormone numbing me. But it feels good and I feel happy and positive again. Once I’ve calmed the storm inside my head, I can move out of my head for a while, I can focus again, I can get stuff done.

Boxing is my way of coping.  It’s my way of getting back to ‘me’ again

But recently I learned that boxing is only one side of the story

What if there was a way of working out what puts my head into chaos in the first place?

Then working out a SMARTER defence, a BETTER counter-shot

One that involves training my brain and not just my body

And OVER-COMING my inner opponents instead of just going the rounds?

And that’s what Box to Believe is

MUCH more of that coming up…..


Kat x